Men and Women
What influences a person’s identity? Is it their homes, parents,
religion, or maybe where they live? When do they get one? Do they get it when
they understand right from wrong, or when they can read, or are they born with
it? Everyone has one and nobody has the same, is there a point in everyone’s
life when they get one? A person’s identity is his own, nobody put it there
and nobody can take it out. Everyone in this world has a different identity
because they all make their own over the course of their life. A person’s
identity also causes a person to have masculine and feminine traits. There is
no one thing that gives a person their identity, there are however many
different factors that contribute to one’s identity.
What is someone’s identity? Is it the way they look, the way they dress,
or it could be many things all put together, or is it none of the above? To
me someone’s identity is a part of their being. Nobody will ever hold it, touch
it, or even see it, but it is there. Everybody has one, it guilds your
decision making, your thoughts, ideas, and dreams. You may think something is
terrible while someone else does not even care and yet another person may laugh,
why? The answer is simple, everyone has his own identity and personality.
Everyone feels, acts, thinks, and dreams differently. People may have some of
these things in common with one another, but they will not be totally the same,
it is like a fingerprint, unique.
There are many origins to a person’s identity, their family, friends,
home life, religion, environment and others. But how does it get there, you do
not go into a store and pick on off the shelf. A person’s identity is
developed over many years and put together by the person themselves. It comes
from the individuals ability to think, reason and form an opinion. Nobody has
the same mind, or the same or the same conscious, so how could anyone have the
same identity as another. A person’s identity is developed over many years
from the time they become aware of their surroundings, to the time they decide
if they are going to college, and even as they grow old there identity will
change with them. As people’s dreams are dreamed and goals are accomplished
their identities will change with the individual. Their aspirations and values
will change, causing their identities to change with it. It may be a slight
alteration or a major overhaul but there identity will adjust to the person.
One of the factors of forming an identity will obviously be your family.
One’s family if invaluable to them. Your family may not be your biological
parents or ever a blood relative at all, but nobody in this world can live from
birth without some one. But no matter who it is, they will be the people who
take care of you when you are sick or aid you when you need help. These people
will be there with you for a long time and yes they will have a major impact on
what you turn out to be it the future. A lot off people are fortunate enough to
live with a mother and a father, they may ever have some brothers and sisters
to play with as they grow up. But ever with the same family influences,
brothers and sisters still do not have the same identities Some may even say
having a “traditional” family would be bad for the development of an identity.
For example, what kind identity would a young girl develop if see repeatedly
saw her father beat on her mother. She would probably not feel the same as
another girl whose father always showed love and caring for her mother. What
about a teenager who used drugs as often as he changed his underwear. Would his
younger brother, in looking up to him, feel the same as another boy who grew up
never seeing an illegal drug before. If family members have no regard for
keeping the other members of the family on the right path to being a good person,
then what will they become. A large part of how someone turns out is due to
the family. A good , solid, caring family may give rise to a kinder, gentler
person than a family that does not care whether the children get into trouble.
Kids grow up seeing their parents and how they act, or not seeing their parents
at all. Proper parenting will lead to better identities in there children.
Gender is a major cause for a person’s identity. A person might act a
certain way because of the gender that is given to them. It is often referred
that a person might act a certain way because it is in their nature. A
person’s nature is a major reason that causes a persons identity. A person
might be mentally sick and just go crazy on people. This is part of the
person’s nature, he is going to do what his nature compels him to. A person’s
nature might also influence a person to act like a man or a woman. A man might
be a man but have feminine traits. This is the nature of his mind. Nature and
identity also characterize how the person acts. The nature of someone might
make someone act stronger in their own sex. Identity can be seen in even the
youngest of children as soon a a child is ready to make their own decision, no
matter how trivial the decision might be, the child is starting to create his
or her own identity and define their own nature. This nature can be seen in
children too. One child’s nature might make a little girl act like a boy,
also called a tomboy. This means that the girl just like to play with boys and
do ‘boy’ things. While another girl, with a different mentality, might play
with Barbie dolls and dress in a pink dress.
Nature and identity might make a woman act the way that she does. In
the stories The Astronomers Wife by Kate Boyle and A Respectable Woman by Kate
Chopin the woman are defiantly feminine. Maybe they are too feminine for their
husbands who seemingly cannot satisfy their women fully. If the husbands were
doing their ‘job’ in the women would not be cheating on them. The husbands
seemingly cannot satisfy their women fully or they wouldn’t be interested in
others. Either the women needs mental satisfaction or physical satisfaction.
Another reason a woman would cheat on her husband is it might be part of her
identity, a part of who she is. In this case there probably is no chance that
she will not cheat on her husband. A person’s nature might cause a person to
want and need things that they already have. Why else would a man, who has a
faithful wife for years, cheat on her wife someone whom he probably barely
Siblings grow up together, they play together, and they have fun
together. But eventually they will get there own friends and make there own
decisions, this also leads to a person’s identity. Not all people like all the
same things or people. Joe may be friends with Larry, and Larry may like Bob,
but Joe may not like Bob. There is no reason to hate each other, they just do
not mix. Friends also play a part in a person’s developing an identity, they
are also a good indicator of one’s identity. Whether you hang around wall
street all day or you work on your farm all day, may tell a little about your
identity. Neither is better than the other but they probably have different
interests and likes. That does not mean they can not be friends and get along,
they will just be different.
A person’s religion can also play a big role in one’s identity. People
who grow up belonging to a religion would be a lot more likely to continue on
with it when they grow older than someone who never believed in one, to start.
Religion can have a rather large effect on a person forming an identity. If a
person learns to treat others with respect and kindness as they were young,
they may keep it with them as they turn into adults. On the other hand a
religion could have negative effects on a person’s identity. For instance,
belonging to a cult that believes in sacrificing animals or even humans would
not give a person a very nice identity. Especially when compared to a person
who grew up as a practicing Roman Catholic. A person’s beliefs can easily lead
a person into making a decision, especially regarding ethics or kindness. The
person growing up not caring about anything but themselves could easily make a
different choice than a person that was taught to be respectful to other people.
However this is not always the case, religion can only work if the person
decides to follow it and adhere to it. A person who goes to church every
Sunday with their parents and does not care about it will probably not have a
large religious effect on their identity, it may even cause the person to think “
who needs religion, it is useless.” A person’s identity is his own, they make
it and develop it however they choose to. Religion may play a part, or not, it
may be bad or good, but the individual has the final say.
Your environment does not just mean your outside surroundings, this also
refers to your home. People live en all kinds of homes and I do not mean a
ranch or a cabin. Your home life is also your environment. Is it clean and
neat or is it bug infested and dirty. Kids growing up in all kinds of homes
will form different identities. Will they be “neat freaks” or will they not
care how they live in their houses. It is a shame to see people living in
filthy, run down places. The kids who come out of neat, clean homes would
probably be different in how they look at dirt and grime. Do they care or not?
Men and women are different because of society has set them up with. It
is observed for men to be strong and women to be weak. Also it is in the
mentality of the person who is making the comparison to choose how a woman or
man is supposed to think. For example one man might think women should be in
the house all day making food, cleaning, and making babies. On the other hand
another man might like to stay home and take care of the kids and the house
while the wife works. In today’s society they are both acceptable but the
second choice is becoming an ever more popular choice. Another mentality that
a man might have is that all women are ‘sluts’ and ‘bitches’. If this mode of
thought is used then the person probably has very little respect for a woman.
Many rap stars have this mentality about woman. “Bitches ain’t sh*t but hoes
and tricks…” (Dr. Dre). This is a line from Dr. Dre’s album The Chronic.
The is the type of thinking that might lead someone to think that all women
cheat on their husbands. In the story The Astronomer’s Wife by Kate Boyle, the
husband was asleep probably had no idea that his wife was about to cheat on him
with the plumber it probably never even crossed his mind. Also in A
Respectable Woman by Kate Chopin, the wife tries to be honest and true but she
has a lot of feeling for a man whom she does not really know. The husband
trusts his wife greatly he wants her to be friends with his friend, but the wife
has something different in mind. She wants the man sexually. The husband has
no idea of her intentions. There are many reasons that make men and women
act the way they do. It could be a number of possibilities but mostly is the
way they were raised.
However with all these factors related to forming an identity the most
important and most influential is the person themselves. We see people every
day, some whom we want to be like and some we hope we never turn out like.
With all the other outside factors to guide and help or push and hamper, the
individual has the last say. You are the only on who says what you want to be
like over the course of your life. Nobody will ever get inside your mind and
do the thinking for you. Nobody can influence you, you may feel as if you are
being forced to do something but you do not have to do anything. You make the
final decision. However you act, think, and speak is totally up to you.
People grow up all coming from all different kinds of places,
backgrounds and families. They will all have different identities. Gender
affects the decisions made by people. Their identity and the ‘nature’ of the
person makes them act the way they do. Nobody is the same and nobody will ever
be. All the outside influences will have an effect on their identities but the
individual has the last word on it. Nobody is the same because each person will
form his own identity to what ever they want to be like.