Don’t sleep.

via the Comedy Geek

There’s lots to love here. According to the author:

If these human/animal hybrids really existed the world would look different. But we have already problems with accepting people of a different skin or culture.  So I am afraid it would make the whole thing a lot more complicated. Still I think they would bring a nice little touch of a land of myths and legends in our everyday life.

Right you are, brother. Right you are. Dude takes requests. Email him.

Via Something Awful.

For some people, being in love with an inanimate object isn’t hyperbolic, as in “I LOVE my couch.” It’s literal:

Like millions of sweethearts across the globe, Wall Winther has found true love. Her husband, in his prime, was a stalwart of immense stature, a domineering presence who was feared throughout his homeland and infamous the world over. Events haven’t been too kind to his physical state, but the couple’s love remains strong. You might think Wall Winther is lucky to be attached to such a celebrity, but it’s unlikely the couple will be gracing the cover of Hello! any time soon. That’s because Wall Winther’s other half is the Berlin Wall.

Wall Winther (whose original name was Eija-Riita Eklaf) is an Objectum-Sexual, or OS for short. Most OSes harbour their passions in private, terrified of rejection by society. But they can still form meaningful relationships, even if their partners might be considered unconventional. “It’s an orientation, like hetero or homosexuality,” explains Kiowa, a US-based OS who moderates an internet forum for like-minded souls. “We’re emotionally and physically attracted to objects. Replacing the term ‘hetero’ with ‘object’ would accurately describe OS.”

Wall Winther agrees. “We see things as living beings,” she says. “That’s a must. Otherwise you can’t fall in love with an object.” Wall Winther is attracted mostly to constructions with plenty of parallel lines – buildings, fences, bridges, gates and, in one case, a guillotine. But other OS fetishists might be turned on by the intricate workings of a turbine or television set, the delicate curves of a shiny sports car, the rigid harshness of a railtrack, or the bell end of a trumpet.

An article in Time (via Radar):

Besides his glowing complexion, Shigeo Tokuda looks like any other 74-year-old man in Japan. Despite suffering a heart attack three years ago, the lifelong salaryman now feels healthier, and lives happily with his wife and a daughter in downtown Tokyo. He is, of course, more physically active than most retirees, but that’s because he’s kept his part-time job — as a porn star…

… Tokuda’s exploits have proved to be a goldmine for Glory Quest, which first launched an “old-man” series, Maniac Training of Lolitas, in December 2004. Its popularity led the company to follow up with Tokuda starring in Forbidden Elderly Care in August 2006.

Is transvestitism a super-common cultural phenomenon in Thailand? I guess so:

A school in north-east Thailand has introduced toilets for transvestites after a survey showed that more than 200 students saw themselves as transgender, a director said today. Sitisak Sumontha said he believed the 2,600-student Kampang school, in north-eatern Thailand, was the first secondary to introduce unisex toilets.

“These students want to be able to go to the restroom in peace without fear of being watched, laughed at or groped,” he added. The toilets are designated by a sign depicting a human figure split in half - part man in blue and part woman in red.

“I’m so happy about this,” student Vichai Sangsakul told Thailand’s PBS news channel. “It looks bad going to female restrooms. What would other people think?”

Transgenders are often seen on TV soap operas in Thailand and are common in the capital, Bangkok, although rural areas are more conservative

That story makes the AMAZING video above—from a previous DG post—make slightly more sense, but thankfully, it’s still 90% inexplicably bizarre.

You ever have one of those moments where you suddenly feel less alone in the world? A man in Singapore was sentenced to 14 years in jail and ordered caned 18 times after smelling women’s armpits. The victims…23 females from girls as young as nine to women in their 50’s.

My hero.

So, on to the good part, via Fleshbot comes this armpit fetish roundup:

· Girlpits Underarm Fetish Forum (girlpits.com; registration required to view galleries
· The world’s ArmPit Fetish site (armpits-fetish.com)
· Armpit Sex (armpit-sex.com)
· FEMALE CELEBRITY ARMPITS! (geocities.com)
· “Celebrity Armpits! Check them out …” (forums.superiorpics.com)

Use it if you got it:

SOME male birds possess a wiggling tongue-like knob on their genitals, probably to titillate their mates.

In typical bird copulation, males and females momentarily press together their cloacas - genital openings - in what biologists call a cloacal kiss. A muscled tongue-like projection called a cloacal tip, spotted for the first time in males of several species of Australian wrens, means this might be more like a French kiss.

Image above has nothing to do with the story, really.

Men always wonder if they’ve got enough pipe for the lady’s foundations. Well consult this handy chart of women’s preferences! Via Buzzfeed.

The above image was taken from the web site of Alex Kozinski, chief judge of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals and sometimes mentioned as a future Supreme Court nominee. According to the LAT, he’s admitted to putting the images on his site (later suggesting his son may have uploaded the content) but defended some of it as “funny.”

Although the judge is a Republican, he’s a staunch First Amendment defender, which we here at DG welcome. A word of advice, your honor: Next time you want to put some weird pr0n on your site, let us do it for you … We’ll even make you a superfriend!

Entire contents of Kozinski’s site found at Patterico’s, including a transsexual powerpoint presentation and a decidedly unfunny Mastercard spoof involving defecation. Oh, and some priest/little boy jokes.

A fascinating story, penned by my former boss, about sex with robots, and how the theme evolved into its current form on Battlestar Gallactica:

What may not be so obvious is that “Galactica” is, like “West Side Story,” gently pushing the same message as “Romeo and Juliet.” When the robots and humans are not trying to kill one another, they rather convincingly fall in love. Montague or Capulet, Puerto Rican or Anglo, human or robot — true love transcends all divides, or so the show seems to be saying.

That, presumably, is why an episode shown on May 20 was titled “Guess What’s Coming to Dinner?” Stanley Kramer’s similarly named romantic comedy from 1967, “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” is about the engagement of an African-American man and a white woman, which causes consternation for her liberal parents. Interracial marriage was still illegal in 16 states when that movie was made; its tag line was “A love story for today.”

Do the writers of “Battlestar Galactica” think their saga is a love story for tomorrow? If so, they wouldn’t be alone — which perhaps goes to show that our universe is even stranger than that of “Galactica.”

Image via AIDS-3D.