From this son-of-a-bitch’s sunny grin, you’d never guess that his kind gets their jollies by gang raping and boning blowholes. And now this: Dolphins that find sport in murdering baby dolphins and porpoises. Sure they patrol our shores, working for the Department of Defense. But what do they do in their off time? And what if they evolve opposable thumbs?

Related: Are dolphins just gay sharks?

Image: Leo Reynolds/Flickr