Like a lot of my friends, I can’t help but wonder what life would be like for me Berlin. The short answer: You’d take up things that would scare the fuck out of your parents, but you’d love it all.

A longer answer: If you were going to a DJ show, the flier might look like the one above, from a recent gig at KIM by Dyssembler. If you were making porno, you’d get yourself a rubber doll and start making this. (“My Secound Check by Doctor. He is interest how i feel me as a Rubber Doll.”) And if you were making art your group’s name would be AIDS-3D (natch) and you’d make stuff like this:

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Holy crap. On view until February 29, in Berlin, natch. Via Feuilleton.

Someone (thank god for them) took the time to compile a list of situations that cause The Incredible Hulk to freak out. Some highlights include:

Dealing with a pesky operator in a phone booth “I DON’T HAVE 25 CENTS!!!”

Being fed poisoned sushi

Having two mean football players snap wet towels at him and shove him into the steam room which they have turned on to full blast

Being stuck in the police department’s voice mail system when he knows his friend is about to be the next lobotomy subject, only to have the police finally pick up the phone after he’s turning into the Hulk

Having several clay pots broken over his head in the middle of the now-burning room (why is the room always burning?), and then knocking an entire case of same clay pots onto same head, and then, while lying very still and struggling not to get angry, having his pants catch fire

Being tied up and fed soup by an elderly Japanese woman who doesn’t understand words like “You’ve GOT to cut me loose!”

DG super-friend Dex just passed along Gavin McIness’s new project. You know, the guy who wrote the dos and don’ts for Vice all those years. Have to say, it’s a daily dose of the shizziest shiz available: Live-action Garfield skits (pictured, originally via blogroll-worthy Superpunch), what love looks like, and some “leotards that will make you reotard.”

He’s for Obama. You know, Hogan’s in a high enough tax bracket that he’s basically voting against his self-interest. That Obama can pull dudes like that is a good sign. But if you watch one piece of political weirdness today, watch this. Hilary is the new Tom Cruise!

From this son-of-a-bitch’s sunny grin, you’d never guess that his kind gets their jollies by gang raping and boning blowholes. And now this: Dolphins that find sport in murdering baby dolphins and porpoises. Sure they patrol our shores, working for the Department of Defense. But what do they do in their off time? And what if they evolve opposable thumbs?

Related: Are dolphins just gay sharks?

Image: Leo Reynolds/Flickr

Just kidding. It’s a fake—a sculpture by John Isaacs. A bit more about the piece: “The imposing sculpture of a bloody shark fin severed from the formidable predator serves as a cultural icon of fear, terror and irrational belief.” Maybe. Another sculpture, far more terrifying:

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A good summary of the sentiment floating around out there, in this week’s New York:

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To add on to the image illustrating the dirt web post below: Don’t miss the many charming digital drawings that Cortright has on her site. Some others after the jump.

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DG loves us some Tracy Morgan. I even met him one time—shook his hand and he asked me, “Feels good, lovin’ ya woman right?” Indeed. A classic episode, via Dlisted:

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